Life's A Drag
by Mako1
Summary: Reed loses a bet.


A/N: I was reading up on Dominic Keating...aka Malcolm Reed, and saw the interesting tid-bit about how he acquired his Equity card. (An Equity card btw has to do with the British acting union.) He was a drag queen! (thank you god) So that's where this came from...that and my absolute LOVE of drag queens. Rated M to be on the safe side...you never know what people will freak out about these days. The song featured in this is "Feelin' Love", by Paula Cole. It's a little ditty of pure filth and perfect for a drag routine. ;)

Life's A Drag.

Captain Jonathan Archer stared at his chief engineer and then his tactical officer. He did this several times as he looked between the two men, all the while shaking his head in disbelief. It didn't help that the engineer had a shit eaten grin on his face and the tactical officer appeared to be rather amused at the captain's incredulity.

"Now let me get this straight," Archer asked, "no pun intended," he added when the two men snorted. "You two have a bet going? And whoever loses has to get done up in drag?"

"Yup."

"Aye Sir."

"And you're both okay with this in the event that you might lose?" Archer added.

"Yup."

"Aye Sir."

Archer slowly nodded his head. "Okay. Now dare I ask where the loser's performance is going to be?"

Archer didn't think that the grin on Tucker's face could get any bigger, yet somehow it did. "We're on our way back to Earth," Tucker started. "And Harvey's in the Castro District is having a 'Starfleet Night'. They've got an open invitation for a drag cabaret."

"Seriously? Forget it I don't want to know," Archer was shaking his head.

"Hoshi found out about it from one of her friends at Starfleet," Reed provided. "She'll be aiding the poor soul who loses."

"Squealed like the little girl that scored the pony at Christmas too," Tucker added with a laugh.

"I really don't want to know," Archer said as he chuckled at the mental image of his communications officer's excitement.

"All proceeds raised are going to charity by the way," Reed stated.

"Really?" Archer asked in surprise. "I can't argue with that." Archer paused for a moment as he considered. "Okay if you two are that serious about it, then you have my permission and my support. Now get out of here before you decide to tell me anymore. Dismissed," he ordered, chuckling at the craziness of their visit.

"Get ready to prance it on stage Malcolm," Tucker said as the two left Archer's ready room.

"Over confident aren't we Commander?" Reed retorted.

On the bridge Hoshi Sato looked up when she heard the ready room door. The shift was ending and she was dying to know whether the Captain had approved or not. Tucker clapped his hands together and pointed to her. "Okay Hoshi get the cards and meet us in the mess hall!"

"Yes!" Sato cheered as she shot out of her chair.

"Don't you even think about starting without me!" Mayweather demanded from the helm.

"Don't worry Travis, we'll wait for ya," Tucker assured the helmsman. He got into the turbo lift with Reed and Sato and shook his head at Sato. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation. Reed leaned against the lift wall with his arms folded across his chest looking at her in bemusement.

T'Pol had been watching all of this from the captain's chair. Ever since Sato received the communiqué about the show to the wager Tucker and Reed had made. Tucker had stated that it would only be appropriate for Enterprise to send a representative for the charity event. "Ensign?" she called out to Mayweather. "What exactly is a drag queen?" Mayweather turned around to face her and proceeded to explain the basics of drag to the Vulcan. Perplexed at the reasoning behind dressing as the opposite gender and why the crew found the concept so entertaining, T'Pol considered the implications of the wager about to be played out and came to a decision. "I hope Lieutenant Reed loses then," she stated.

"Why's that?" Mayweather asked in confusion.

"Commander Tucker would be a hideous woman," the Vulcan replied succinctly.

Mayweather's relief came to the bridge to find Travis Mayweather leaning back in his seat, screaming in laughter. After several attempts he finally managed to rise from his position and stagger towards the turbo lift. T'Pol took a deep calming breath and turned her focus to the evening watch.

The mess hall was packed with people. The news about the wager had spread like wildfire and anyone not on duty had turned out to see which of their superior officers would be performing in a San Francisco nightclub in drag. Hoshi had a dealer's visor on as she shuffled the cards. The contestants were sitting opposite each other, Tucker with a smirk on his face, and Reed the picture of indifference. Mayweather was glad that Hoshi had waited for him as he worked his way through the crowd to find a good spot. He settled for standing behind Liz Cutler and a few of her friends. His tall stature would let him see everything over their heads.

"Okay people!" Sato stated to get everyone's attention. "The game is five-card draw poker. Best of seven hands is the winner. The loser as we all know is gonna be looking pretty...hopefully...in three weeks time," the crowd chuckled as Sato continued to shuffle the deck. "Gentlemen, ante up," she said as she began dealing.

Reed and Tucker had both won three hands each and it had come to the seventh and final hand. They tossed their antes onto the table as Sato dealt the final hand. Tucker tapped his fingers on the table as he considered which cards to keep. Reed glanced at his hand and tossed one of the cards onto the table. Sato dealt him a new card and Reed arranged it in with the others. Tucker finally decided to hold three cards and Sato replaced his tossed ones with two fresh cards. Tucker arranged his hand as well and stared directly at Reed. Reed called.

"Two pair, kings high."

Tucker's lip twitched up. Sato jumped back when he suddenly shot out of his seat and slammed his hand down. "Looks like y'all gotta find out what your dress size is Lieutenant!" Tucker crowed.

"Shite," Reed muttered as he looked at Tucker's straight flush.

Sato seemed to be the only one who noticed that Reed didn't look too disappointed with losing the wager as the crowd dispersed to have dinner, several of them giving Reed sympathetic pats on the shoulder as they walked past. "Right then," Reed said as he rose from his chair. "Better get started and figure out how I'm going to do this." Sato followed him as he left the mess.

"I know loads about drag acts and stuff like that," she offered as they walked towards his quarters.

"I'll just need a hand with the nails," Reed replied quietly.

"You're going to need more than nails," Sato chuckled. Reed let her talk the rest of the way until they were standing outside of his door. He punched in his access code and stepped aside to let her in. "I think you should start with pumps and then work your way up to taller heels," she was saying as he followed her in. Reed went to his desk and looked into a drawer for a data module. "What's that?"

Reed held the data module close to his chest as he scrutinised Sato's curious face. "Swear that you will not divulge anything about what you are going to see in a minute," he told her. Sato raised an eyebrow but remained silent. "If anyone asks how I'm doing, you simply reply with; fine. Do not go into any detail, actual or fictional," Sato remained silent as she looked up at him in confusion. "Swear it or else."

"On my ancestors souls, I swear I'll do as you ask," Sato finally said, confusion evident in her voice.

"Seeing as that's the Shinto equivalent of swearing to God, it'll do," Reed said as he handed the data module over to her. "Meet Martinique," he added, stepping aside to let her use his terminal.

Sato shook her head as she took the module and slid it into the data port. A video clip appeared on the screen and it took her a moment to realise that she was looking at a rather young Malcolm Reed. "How old were you in this?"

"Seventeen."

"Wow," Sato murmured as she watched.

Young Malcolm was being filmed in a dressing room by his friend Evan. "Last night mate," Evan's Welsh tinted accent lilted in the background.

"Alas, Martinique retires after tonight," Malcolm laughed as he placed a hand over his chest. "All well, it's all been good fun."

"Not to mention that the local chapter of the Prince's Trust has made a small fortune in donations," Evan laughed.

"Well there's that too," Malcolm shrugged.

Sato watched as young Malcolm turned away from the camera to face a large mirror. He started by slipping a wig cap on his head and then sorting through a drawer of cosmetics. "Okay Evan, no need to reveal my secrets," young Malcolm teased. The scene switched to a view of Malcolm from behind as he was applying the finishing touches to a flawless make up job when he glanced in the mirror and spied the camera. "Evan..." he warned. The scene switched again and Sato saw a fully finished Malcolm Reed, or rather Martinique as Evan had introduced the sultry statuesque woman on the screen. Sato's jaw dropped.

"Like I said, I'll just need a bit of help with the nails," Reed offered as Sato watched his younger self on the screen emceeing a drag cabaret to a packed house.

"What the...you're a pro?" Sato stammered as Reed reached over to turn off the video.

"I took drama in high school," Reed said as Sato turned to face him. "I figured that it would be a good 'lazy class', but I found out that I really liked it and ended up doing really well in it."

"So what was that?" Sato asked, pointing to the dark terminal.

"My school's drama class had been putting on a drag cabaret every other Saturday for years. The cabaret alternated with a variety show. I was better at the cabaret," Reed explained. "All the proceeds went to charity. Which when I think about it, is probably why my father didn't mind his only son dressing in drag...too much."

"You're an old hand at this then?" Sato asked. Her grin threatened to split her face in two.

"Martinique is coming out of retirement," Reed smirked.

"You don't need my help at all, do you?" Sato was bouncing in the chair in excitement.

"I just need your silence," he purred.

"I swear on my ancestors, and on your ancestors, and the ancestors of everyone on this ship, I won't tell a soul!" Sato promised. "On one condition! I get to see what you put together beforehand."

"Fair enough," Reed agreed. Sato jumped up and hugged him enthusiastically. He laughed at her giddy delight. "If I'd known that you had a drag queen fetish, Ms Sato, I'd have said something ages ago," he teased. Sato retorted with a bruising kiss.

Enterprise was going to be in space dock for at least a month for retrofits. It was a week before the show and Tucker was frustrated. He hadn't been able to get a word out of either Reed or Sato as to how everything was going. No hints or clues as to what Reed had planned for the cabaret. The only things Commander Tucker knew for certain were that there had been auditions and Malcolm had passed through those and would appear in the show. That and Malcolm's sister Madeline would be joining the senior staff at their table in the nightclub the night of the show.

The day before the show, it had been announced that a second night would be made available due to demand. The tickets for the second show sold out in under an hour. Reed seemed nonplussed about having to do two shows. Tucker had given up by that point in trying finding anything out. Madeline had been sworn to secrecy after she'd met up with her brother in San Francisco, and Tucker had tried wheedling her for information to no avail. The one highlight for Tucker had been that Captain Archer and Commander T'Pol would be going to the first show with the rest of the senior staff. Captain Hernandez had persuaded Archer to join her so she didn't have to sit at the VIP table with a bunch of admiralty. T'Pol simply stated that she wanted to see for herself what was so fascinating about men impersonating women.

On the night of the show, one of the cocktail waitresses led the senior staff to a table right next to the main stage. Madeline and Hoshi sat next to each other, flanked by Phlox and T'Pol. Tucker and Mayweather sat next to T'Pol. All of them had a good view of the stage as well as most of the room. Captain Archer was seated with Captain Hernandez, a few other captains, and a small group of admirals in the back of the room in the VIP section.

"You're gonna at least tell us which one is Malcolm right?" Tucker asked Hoshi and Madeline.

Hoshi shook her head and Madeline smirked. "I'm afraid not Commander. You'll have to figure it out for yourself," Malcolm's sister replied.

"Whole damn Reed clan is impossible," Tucker muttered, as the lights dimmed and the crowd noise lowered to a hushed murmur.

"Salut mes cheres, and welcome to Harvey's very special 'Starfleet's Drag for Charity Event'," a smooth feminine voice boomed out. The lights at the foot of the stage started to reveal the red and white gowned figure of a beautiful woman as they panned up. Even her eyes were red to match her outfit, which was a full length gown in red. The bodice of the gown was a white V shaped wedge that revealed her ample cleavage. Her long hair was also red with white streaks blended in.

"I want to thank you all for buying tickets tonight. The proceeds are all going to local charities," she explained. "So that had better be the really damn good booze they're plying you with for that price." The audience roared in laughter. "Tonight and tomorrow night only, our performers are all special guests!" she exclaimed. "They all have real careers," she waved two immaculate white nails in the air at the word careers. "They all work in Starfleet and are active duty as we speak...well not right at this second, but you get the idea." The Starfleet personnel in the crowd cheered.

"We had auditions for this show...because Harvey's isn't going to let some sad old queen onto their stage, non?" she paused for a moment. "Mon dieu I had no idea Starfleet was so full of queens! The line for the auditions was all the way up Castro street and down Market, almost to the Embarcadero!" The laughter among the civilians was drowned out by the Starfleet personnel. "We here at Harvey's would like to thank the Admiralty for embracing this idea for a charity event!" The audience applauded and the woman smirked. "I'll thank you personally later," she added with a wink before changing the subject.

"How many of you here in the crowd are regulars to Harvey's Saturday Night is a Drag show?" the woman asked. Several hands in the audience went up and the woman placed a shaky hand to her chest. "Mes cheres, I have dreadful news. There's been a tragedy," she began, fanning her face for a moment. "Miss Inga Moralatu had un horrific accident."

Several of the regular patrons gaped at her in wide eyed shock and she knew she had them, hook line, and sinker. "We were doing a dress rehearsal about an hour ago, and Inga went to go get the pain killers," Several more gapes of disbelief. "She does this often, because of the shoes," the woman explained. Turning to the side, she flashed an expanse of leg that ended in a four inch stiletto heel in red patent leather. "The shoes are gorgeous. They're fabulous. They're ridiculously expensive...And they hurt like hell," she deadpanned. Several members of the audience chuckled as the woman regained her composure.

"Anyway, Miss Inga Moralatu went to get the pain killers. Instead she grabbed the bottle for erectile dysfunction," a dramatic pause. "Ouch." The crowd roared in laughter as the woman playfully glared at them with narrowed eyes. "You think that's funny? You should have seen the rest of us rushing around trying to figure out who would replace her." The crowd continued to chuckle and laugh. "Looked like a bunch of maniacs at the shoe discount sale, mon dieu."

As the crowd continued to chuckle, Tucker leaned over to whisper to Sato. "She sounds French but not..."

"Joual," Sato supplied. At Tucker's baffled look she added, "French Canadian."

The woman on stage began after the laughter died down a bit. "For you regulars, Miss Inga Moralatu should be back next week...hopefully not hobbling as bad," the crowd started howling in laughter again. "Since she was unavailable it was madness trying to decide who would replace her, non? We went by the old standby of drawing straws," she explained. "As usual I got the short limp one," she let the audience laugh for a moment before continuing.

"I suppose I should introduce myself, eh? I am Martinique. My Papa wanted a son," she paused and glanced around for a moment as the audience laughed. "At least my little sister is butch enough to take the edge off of that little disappointment."

T'Pol and Trip glanced at Hoshi and Madeline who were laughing so hard, they were nearly sliding out of their chairs.

"I hail from the glorious city of Montreal...in frozen desolate Canada," Martinique deadpanned. She pulled her hair over her shoulder and turned her back to the crowd to reveal the large maple leaf on the back of her gown. Several members of the audience cheered wildly. "So oui, I'm from the part of Canada that speaks French just to piss off the rest of North America," the audience laughed again. "Like all good little queens in the frozen north, I was obsessed with the usual things," she continued as she turned back to face the audience. "Make-up. Hockey. Haut couture. Hockey. Shoes. Hockey, and hockey," she listed off.

Someone in the crowd called out the name of the local ice hockey team and Martinique didn't miss a beat. "Oui, shark tastes fabulous with poutine," the Canadians in the crowd that had cheered earlier heckled the San Jose Shark's fan as Martinique just smiled sweetly at him for a moment. "Poutine in case you are curious, is why every other medical professional in Quebec is a cardiologist." Phlox laughed aloud at the joke. The Denobulan had sampled poutine before and agreed that the fried strips of potato with cheese curds and gravy was something to be enjoyed very sparingly.

"Anyway, you all paid to see a show, not listen to me babble all night," Martinique stated. "So let me introduce our first performer of the night. She's an adorable little Filipina, with an absolute blasé disregard for the concept of gravity...you'll see what I mean in a minute," Martinique said with a wave of her hand. "Without further adieu, put your hands together for Angel!"

The lights went dark on Martinique and the spotlight zoomed in to a door beside the bar. A petite woman bounded out of the door and hopped effortlessly onto the bar. She was wearing tiny black shorts and a leather bustier. She had on knee high stiletto boots and fishnets as she began dancing and lip synching to the song playing over the loud speakers. The crowd figured out what Martinique had meant about Angel's disregard for gravity when Angel back flipped easily off the bar onto the floor. The crowd cheered wildly as Angel danced and flipped her way up to the stage to finish out her routine.

Angel ended her routine with a wild twist and deep bow as the lights came back up. Martinique came back on stage behind Angel. During Angel's performance, Martinique had changed costumes and was now wearing a dark pinstripe suit. The suit was cut to flatter the figure and she had the sleeves rolled up slightly. Her hair was now a sleek blonde bob and her eyes were black. "Give it up for Angel mes amies!" The crowd cheered and applauded loud as Angel took another bow. "You do know that the name Angel is false advertising, right?" Martinique teased the dancer, who giggled. "You'll all see Angel later in the show," Martinique said to the audience. "Now shoo," she directed at Angel, playfully smacking her bottom as Angel started heading off stage.

As the crowd howled in delight, Martinique went over to the stage steps and made her way down to the main floor. "Everyone is having a good time?" The audience cheered and Martinique clapped. "Oh I'm so glad," she replied as she scanned the crowd. "Oh mon dieu you're gorgeous!" she suddenly declared as she made her way quickly over to the senior staff's table. Mayweather scooted his seat over as Martinique wriggled her way between him and Tucker. This is exactly what the entertainer was aiming for and sat on Mayweather's lap, slinging and arm around his neck. "So Blondie, what is your name?" Martinique asked Tucker, who started to blush.

"Charles," he managed to stammer.

"Charles, enchanté. And your friends?" Martinique asked, panning her microphone around the table. "Starting with you, Muscles," she said glancing seductively up at Mayweather.

"Travis ma'am," Mayweather replied shyly.

"Phlox," the Denobulan grinned.

"Hoshi," Sato giggled.

"Madeline," she smirked.

"T'Pol," the Vulcan replied, as her lip quirked slightly up.

"It's alright to smile T'Pol...it won't kill you, trust me," Martinique said. "I promise I won't tell a soul," this caused T'Pol's lip to quirk up more. Martinique mimed writing a letter. "Dear whoever is running Vulcan at the moment, I am writing to tell you T'Pol smiled in public. The scandal, I know. Kiss, kiss, love Martinique," she teased and the others laughed.

"She's got ya there Commander," Tucker drawled.

"Oh mon dieu you're Southern!" Martinique exclaimed as she rose from Travis' lap to sit in Tucker's. Martinique propped her ankles on Travis' lap as she got comfortable. T'Pol caught a hint of her scent and glanced wide eyed at Sato. Hoshi and Madeline both gave a single nod of the head at her unasked question and T'Pol felt her lip quirk up even more. She could sense that Tucker had no idea that it was Reed sitting in his lap.

"I must know Charles, is it true what they say about Southern men?" Martinique purred. "They say they are going to be the perfect gentleman, which means that they are perfectly up to no good?" T'Pol fought the urge to laugh as the others around the table roared in laughter. "I'll take that as a yes." Martinique stood up and leaned over to plant a kiss on Tucker's cheek. "Alas I'm working, or I'd stay and play," she said as she made her way back up to the stage. Tucker's face was burning as he blushed scarlet.

Martinique made to fan herself as she returned to the stage. "Mon dieu I could use a stiff one," the crowd roared in laughter and Martinique frowned. "A drink you fiends. A stiff drink," she glanced around narrow eyed for a moment before glancing over to the bar. A waitress was coming towards the stage with a glass on her tray and Martinique smiled. "You dear sweet girl," she said as she took the glass and downed the contents in one gulp. "Merci mon chere," she thanked as she replaced the glass onto the tray and the waitress returned to the bar.

"Time for another song eh?" Martinique announced. "Allow me to introduce Miss Christina Snow...as in pure as the driven," she deadpanned and the audience laughed. As with Angel, the lights dimmed on Martinique and a spot light focused onto a door near the main entrance of the club. Christina Snow was wearing a sparkling flesh toned body stocking with splashes of blue where a bra and panties would be. She was a tall statuesque blonde with long feathered hair and she was almost as agile as Angel as she pranced towards the front of the room in time with the song playing.

Christina remained on the main floor for her performance, dancing around the different tables and flirting with any men seated at them. Towards the end of her routine she was over by the senior staff and like Martinique she focused her attentions on Mayweather and Tucker. Both men were blushing profusely as Christina ran her fingers through their hair and brushed her hip against them. Her song ended and Martinique's voice suddenly piped up from over by the bar. "Those two are mine...hussy."

Martinique had changed again and this time she was wearing a skimpy white tee shirt dress with loose flowing sleeves. The hem barely came to the top of her thighs. Her hair was auburn in a style similar to Christina's feathered mane and her eyes were a golden colour. Christina laughed as she walked up to Martinique. The two kissed and Christina disappeared through the door next to the bar while Martinique looked on. "Figures..." she muttered as she strolled casually towards the stage. "There's a whole table full of Starfleet bigwigs in the VIP section, go play with them," she called out to where Christina had vanished and the crowd howled in laughter.

"Charles, Travis? You two okay?" Martinique asked in feigned concern as she focused directly at the two men. "She wasn't too brazen eh?" she paused before nodding her head. "Okay good...that hussy," she muttered again and the crowd laughed. "Anyway, I thought I'd slip into something a little more...sleazy," she winked and the crowd laughed again. "This song's for my two boys in the front row here," she said as a slow sexy beat started up.

"Oh my God," Madeline muttered as she leaned forward and buried her face in her hands.

"What..." Tucker asked in a worried tone.

"Listen to the lyrics," Madeline whispered and buried her face in her hands again, her shoulders moving as she chuckled.

As Madeline had suggested, the senior staff listened to the lyrics to the song and several jaws dropped. Martinique was running a hand over her body as she lip synched to the sultry tune, causing Tucker and Mayweather to blush profusely again.

_You make me feel like a candy apple_

_Red and horny_

_You make me feel like I wanna be a dumb blonde_

_In a centrefold, the girl next door_

_And I would open the door and..._

_I'd be all wet_

_With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt..._

_That I'm wearing_

_And you would open the door and tie..._

_Me up to the bed..._

As the song continued, Tucker and Mayweather found that they wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Martinique was looking in their general direction the whole time as she cavorted to the song and even Sato found herself blushing. She knew that Martinique was actually Malcolm Reed, but she was having a hard time reconciling the taciturn tactical officer with the sexy diva on stage.

The sultry tune ended and the crowd erupted into applause as Martinique took a deep bow. "Merci, merci," she said as the applause continued. "Whew, I could use another stiff one..." she paused and dared the audience to bite. "Merci mon chere," she said as the waitress returned with another glass that Martinique downed in one gulp.

Martinique continued to amuse the audience as she introduced different entertainers to the stage. A large muscular black woman who went by the name of Shaniqua Noir came out in feathers and sequins synching to a drag classic. Angel came back out and gyrated her way through a fast sexy song. She ended with another feat of gymnastic talent in four inch stiletto heels, which drove the crowd wild. Ginger Mason staggered on stage with a half empty vodka bottle and tottered her way through 'All By Myself', which had the audience howling in laughter as she staggered off afterwards. Several others came out and either made the crowd cheer wildly or laugh depending on their routines. All of the entertainers wandered through the tables and they all flirted with Mayweather and Tucker. Martinique would playfully scold each of them for messing with her boys before asking the two if they were alright.

After another song by Ginger, Martinique came out in a white cocktail dress with a bolero jacket. Her hair was white with blue streaks and her contacts matched the blue in her hair. "Some of the girls are going to join me in a moment for one last song eh?" she stated as she began closing out the show.

Tucker leaned towards Sato. "Are you sure Malcolm was in this? These are some serious pros."

"That's Lieutenant Reed right there," T'Pol stated, nodding towards Martinique as she continued on stage.

"Bull shit!" Tucker exclaimed. His jaw dropped when Sato and Madeline confirmed what T'Pol had said.

"That's my brother," Madeline grinned.

On stage, Shaniqua, Christina, and Angel had all joined Martinique dressed in white costumes that were all very different from each other. The four began a girl group song that the audience cheered wildly for. Tucker and Mayweather were still shaking their heads in disbelief as the quartet on stage wrapped up and took their bows. "You have all been a wonderful audience and we thank you again for coming out!" Martinique exclaimed as all the performers came out on stage. "Have a wonderful night and stay safe," she concluded as they all bowed for the crowd one last time.

The performers stood off to the side near the bar as people came up to take pictures with them and thank or congratulate them for a wonderful show. Madeline waited with the rest of the senior staff until the crowd had dispersed before running up to her brother and giving him a massive hug.

"Oh my god that was bloody brilliant!" Madeline laughed as she kissed his cheek. "I've missed Martinique."

"You god damn son of a bitch," Tucker drawled as he came to stand behind brother and sister. "I'm gonna kill you," he laughed as Martinique smirked at him. Martinique's French Canadian mezzo-soprano was replaced with Reed's English tenor.

"Gotcha," he teased. "When did you figure it out?"

"I didn't T'Pol did," Tucker replied. Reed looked over to the Vulcan.

"It was when you were sitting in Commander Tucker's lap. I recognised your scent," she supplied.

"You knew for that long?" Mayweather asked incredulously.

"I did confirm my suspicions with Ms Sato and Ms Reed, but yes," T'Pol replied.

"I found this to be a very entertaining evening," Phlox grinned as he patted Reed's shoulder.

"Thank you Doctor, I'm glad you enjoyed it," Reed offered.

"Malcolm?" Archer asked gaping at Martinique.

"Captains," he acknowledged Archer and Hernandez.

"That's your British, stiff upper lipped, armoury officer?" Erica Hernandez teased Archer. Archer only nodded and she laughed. "That's okay, this shameless flirt is my science officer," she added indicating Christina.

"Rhys?" Tucker gaped. Christina waggled her eyebrows and replied in a deep Welsh accented masculine voice.

"Lieutenant Rhys Jones at your service," 'Christina' grinned.

"Oh my gawd..." Tucker muttered. He knew Rhys from his stint on the Columbia.

"Seeing as you two seemed to enjoy making my life a misery for the last few weeks I arranged some payback," Reed smirked. Tucker and Mayweather gaped at him. "I pointed you out the rest of the girls here," he added.

"I hate you," Tucker chuckled as he realised that he'd been well and truly had by his best friend.

"You love me and you know it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd love to get changed," Reed said as he shifted in Madeline's embrace. Reed and the other performers disappeared into the back of the club.

"We're gonna get him back right?" Mayweather asked.

"Bastard's charge of the stuff that explodes...you sure you wanna get him really mad?" Tucker replied.

"Damn," Mayweather muttered as he conceded that Tucker was probably right.

"Serves you two right," Sato playfully admonished.

Reed and Jones returned a short time later in their regular clothes. Tucker, Mayweather, and Phlox all scrutinised Reed trying to see any hint of Martinique in his features and found none. Reed held an arm out for Sato and took his sister's hand in his free one. "Right, I don't know about you lot, but I'm bloody starving."

FINI


End file.
